Well mamas, we wanted to chat about something that’s close to our hearts (and closely linked to our sanity) right now. Our sweet Emmett has been having a rough couple of weeks. He’s been fighting a couple of bugs, and he’s working on a bundle of new teeth… which means he’s sometimes seriously volatile, and in desperate need of extra mama snugs.
My instinct in these situations is to feel like we need to respond to every whimper and cry with cuddles and reassuring words, no matter how exhausted we are. Which is wonderful (trust me, I love the extra cuddles!), at least until we’re so exhausted that we totally crash. It’s usually at this point that we finally admit that we’ve ceased being able to function (slight exaggeration, but we swear it feels like this!) and need to call in reinforcements (ahem… grandma!). This cycle is typically shrouded in guilt that we’re not handling it all, and that we should be able to do everything for our babe on our own (I know, I know… crazy, but mom-guilt is a beast).
So, it’s taken us nine-and-a-half months, but we’re figured out how to beat the cycle. We’re not promising that we never face mom guilt (experienced mamas feel free to laugh heartily at the very idea), but we have been able to prevent ourselves from draining all of our energy when loving on our littles, and totally melting down. So what’s the secret? Mom time. Or as I like to call it, sweet sweet serenity.
Insert a ‘duh’ and an eye-rolling face here. And you’ve probably heard this a million times. But it’s true. You need time for yourself. Time when you’re not on-call every moment, and you can use your brain for something completely non-baby related. You’ll come away feeling better, recharged, and refocused. Every. Single. Time. Which is great in concept, but I certainly know that making this happen is a tricky, tricky practice. So that’s what we wanted to offer today – tips on how to squeeze in some alone time, when you’re neck-deep in needy baby moments, and you need it the most:
- Say yes! When someone in your tribe volunteers to come over for a couple of hours to watch the baby, say yes! Don’t stress that the baby is going to be cranky while they’re there… trust us, they probably know this, and they’re offering because they know you need a break. They love you, and your babe, and want the best for both of you. So just say yes, accept the offer graciously, and get out of the house! Walk around some shops, the block, grab some coffee, or just get your nails done. This has been a game-changer for us recently, and it’s so worth it.
- Plan ahead. It can sometimes be overwhelming to think about leaving the baby with someone else when you’re in the throes of a tear-filled day of teething and tantrums. So plan ahead for your time away. If you know that Thursday afternoon you’re going to have a couple of hours to yourself, you can prep anything you need to ahead of time (snacks, milk, etc), and you’ll have something to look forward to Mon-Wed when you’re in the grind. The light at the end of the tunnel can work wonders!
- Reframe what ‘alone time’ means. You may not always be able to carve out 2 hours to get out of the house by yourself. So when you can’t, use the time available in a new way. We’ve found that if we can change up the daily routine we find energy in that. When Em (finally) goes down for a nap, we’ll try to get outside for 20 mins in the sun, or read a fun book (that’s been collecting dust) instead of doing the laundry. Anything that’s just for you, and takes your mind off of the babe… we swear, it works!
There will be a million days when our sweet babes are the light of our lives, and we want to soak up every moment with them. But during those tough days (and weeks!), don’t let yourself crash. Say yes, plan ahead, and shake up the routine, to recharge yourself and be the best mama you can!
You’ve got this!!!
